20 things I wish I'd known when starting out in life
"Everything was included, except how to live." - Jean-Paul Sartre
However, there are some things I wish I had known when I was in high school and beginning to adulthood in life.
Would I change things? I'm not so sure. I could ever get in a mountain of debt, but I would not have learned the incredible satisfaction of escape. I could make better career choices, but I would not have any work experience that my blogger and writer I am now done.
I would not have married the first time, so I never got divorced ... but I do not want my first two beautiful children incredible wonders of this first marriage.
I do not think I would change all that. However, looking back, there are lessons that I learned that I would probably tell my 18-year-old self. Should I now share share my regrets? No, I share the hope that young men and women who start in life, can benefit from my mistakes and lessons.
What follows is not an exhaustive list, but it's one that I hope proves to be useful for at least a few people.
"I hope life is not a big joke, because I do not understand." - Jack Handey
1------How to control impulsive spending. If there is something that got me in trouble financially, it's impulsive spending. Buy clothes when I do not need. Buy gadgets because I must have. Things from the command line because it is so easy. Buy this shiny new SUV because ... Well, because it would help me with women. I'm not proud of it. I learned to control my impulses, at least a little better. Now, I give myself a little time to breathe. I think about my purchases, to see if I have money, think about whether it is a need or a desire. It would have been a useful tool 15 years ago.
2-----You have to stay active. I was in track, cross country and basketball in high school, but once I started college, running and basketball began to slowly disappear. Not right away - I was playing pickup basketball years after high school. But even that is gone, until I became sedentary. Playing with my children outside winded me. And I started to gain weight. I reversed this trend, and I am very active, but I'm still burning the fat I gained during these inactive years.
3----How to plan finances. I always knew I had the budget and track my expenses when I became an adult. I was just too lazy to do. And I did not have a good idea of how to actually do it. Now I have learned how to plan and how to stick to that plan. Of course, I depart from my plan, but I learned how to handle that too. Maybe it's not a skill you can learn from reading the book. You just need practice. Well, I hope to teach my children before they go out on their own.
3----Junk food will come back to bite you in the ass. Yeah, it was not only the sedentary lifestyle that has me fat. It was too damn much junk food. I want to eat pizza and burgers and Twinkies and sugar cereals and desserts and donuts and ... well, you get the picture. As someone used to be able to eat what I wanted, it never seemed that this would be a problem. Poor health had something to worry about when you have old. Well, my jeans started to become too tight, and to my horror, I got several pants sizes and developed a gut that it is only now we're going away. I wish someone had shown me a picture "after" when I was young and downing the Big Gulp sodas.
4------Smoking is just stupid. I did not start smoking until I was well into my adult years. I will not go into why I started, but that does not seem to be a problem, because I knew I could stop whenever I wanted. Or I thought I could at least that many years later, I gave it a go and I could not do it. Five failed later left and I realized with horror that my addiction was stronger than me. Of course, I finally broke the habit (quit date: November 18, 2005), but it took to make a piece of my soul.
5-----Fund your retirement, my son. And do not remove it. This piece of wisdom, and probably all those above, may seem blisteringly obvious. And they are. Do not think I did not know this when I was 18. I did. I did not pay attention, it serious. Retirement was something I could not worry about when I was in my 30s. Well, I'm in my 30s now and I wish I could hit that 18 Leo a little bit. What money I could have invested in the future! I have a retirement plan, but the 3 times I changed jobs, I retired and passed lightly.
6-----All the stuff you do that seems difficult - it will be used. This is the first that might not be as obvious. There are times in my life where the work was hard, and I did it anyway, but hated. I did it because I had to, but the boy did it stress me and leave me exhausted. Hard work is not as easy as I wanted it to be. But you know what? Each bit of hard work I did not know why I did that ... it paid off for me in the long run. Maybe not right away, but I am using the skills and habits that I learned during these periods of high stress and long hours of tedious work - I use them all the time, and they did me the person I am today. Thank you, young Leo!
7------Do not buy this truck used without removing it closely. I thought being smart by buying used, but I did not check carefully enough kick. This is Dang Van had many engine problems, a door almost fell when I was driving, a door handle that broke a mirror that fell, no spare wheel, despite three tires that were ready to jump (and does), windows that roll up, slamming a possible blown radiator ... I could go on and on, but let's just say it was not my best purchase. I still think buying used is smart, but check first things closely.
8-----This guy you sell your car? On a gentleman's agreement? He will not pay you. I sold a car to a friend of a friend, who I was sure she pay me even if I did not write anything. That was clever. I still see the guy from time to time on the road, but I do not have the energy to turn around and run after him.
9-----Take time to pursue your passion, no matter how busy you are. I always wanted to be a writer, and get a book published. I never had time to write. With a family and school and work full time, it was simply not enough hours in the day. Well, I learned that you have to do these hours. Set aside a block of time to do what you like, cut other things in your life that you take your time, and do not let anything interfere with this work. If I did 15 years ago, I could have 15 books written by the company. Not everything would be great, but still.
All these things that stress you - it will not matter in five years, let alone 15. When things are going for you now, they mean everyone. I had deadlines and projects and people breathing down my neck and my stress level went through the roof. I do not regret the work (see above), but I think I would have been less stressed if I could realize that it would not matter one bit a few years down the road. Perspective is a good thing to learn.
People make friends with are so much more important than your work or things you buy. I had a few jobs, I bought a lot of things, and I made some friends over the last 15 years. Among them, the only thing that matters to me are friends. And I wish I could have spent more time with his friends (and family) than on other things.
All that time spent watching television is a huge, huge waste of time. I do not know how I watched TV over the years, but this is a crapload. Hours and days and weeks I will never return. Who cares what happens in reality, when reality is slipping from the outside? Time is something you'll never go back - do not lose the remote.
Your children will grow much faster than you think. Do not waste a minute. I just had an Oh My God moment recently. My oldest daughter, Chloe, is 14 going on 15 next month. I have three years left with her before she left my house and becomes an adult. Three years! I am appalled by this fact alone, because it does not really seem anywhere near enough time. I want to return to my little car and hit the young Leo on the head and say stop working so hard! Stop watching TV! Spend more time with your children! Over the past 15 years, with Chloe (and my other wonderful children) spent far, far too quickly.
Forget the drama. Focus on being happy. There were many things that happened to me professionally and personally, that seem like the end of the world. And while these things were bad, they jump into our heads so that they become major drama. They made me to be depressed from time to time. What a waste of time. When I realized it was all in my head, and I could be happy instead if I focused on the positive, on what I have done, and what I could do ... I could skip all the moping about.
Pay more attention to blogs when you first hear about them. They are more than newspapers. I first read about blogs 7-8 years ago, but when I had a look at them, they do not like something interesting. Just logs some people about things they read on the web. Why would I read them? I have my own ideas on the web, but I did not need to share with the world. I spent a lot of time on the Internet on various sites and forums, but every time I came across a blog, I graze without interest. It was not until a few years ago I discovered that the wonderful things they could be (I mentioned some of my early favorites in my list of influences). If I had had in blogging years ago ... Well, I would not have wasted all this time.
Speaking of which, keep a journal. Seriously. Your memory is faulty. I forget things very easily. No difference in the short term but long term. I do not remember much about the early years of my children because I did not record it all. I do not remember much about my life. It's like a lot of foggy memories that I will never have access. I wish I had kept a diary.
Tequila is seriously wrong. I will not go into details, but it should suffice to say that I had some bad experiences, and I'm not sure I learned much from them or benefited in any way with the exception of learn that tequila is the drink of the devil.
Yes, you can do a marathon. Do not put off this goal - it is extremely rewarding. Running a marathon has always been a dream for me since high school ... something I wanted to do but I thought it was out of reach. Or if I ever did, it would take years and years later. Well, I learned that it is not only possible, it is incredibly rewarding. I wish I had started training when I was young and thin and fit ... I have had some good times finished!
All these mistakes that you make, despite this advice? They are worth it. My 18-year-old self would probably read this post and said, "Good Advice" And then he could make the same mistakes, despite the good intentions I was a good boy, but I was not good at!. follow the advice. I had to make my own mistakes and live my own life. And that's what I did, and I do not regret a minute. Every experience I've had (even tequila ) led me on the path of life where I am today. I like where I am today, and I would not trade it for another life for everyone. Pain, stress, drama, hard work, mistakes, depression, hangover, debt, fat ... it was worth it.
"Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry." - Mark Twain
"Everything was included, except how to live." - Jean-Paul Sartre
I am almost 35 years, and I made my share of mistakes in my life. I'm not a big believer in regrets ... and I learned a lot from all the mistakes ... and my life is pretty great.
However, there are some things I wish I had known when I was in high school and beginning to adulthood in life.
Would I change things? I'm not so sure. I could ever get in a mountain of debt, but I would not have learned the incredible satisfaction of escape. I could make better career choices, but I would not have any work experience that my blogger and writer I am now done.
I would not have married the first time, so I never got divorced ... but I do not want my first two beautiful children incredible wonders of this first marriage.
I do not think I would change all that. However, looking back, there are lessons that I learned that I would probably tell my 18-year-old self. Should I now share share my regrets? No, I share the hope that young men and women who start in life, can benefit from my mistakes and lessons.
What follows is not an exhaustive list, but it's one that I hope proves to be useful for at least a few people.
"I hope life is not a big joke, because I do not understand." - Jack Handey
1------How to control impulsive spending. If there is something that got me in trouble financially, it's impulsive spending. Buy clothes when I do not need. Buy gadgets because I must have. Things from the command line because it is so easy. Buy this shiny new SUV because ... Well, because it would help me with women. I'm not proud of it. I learned to control my impulses, at least a little better. Now, I give myself a little time to breathe. I think about my purchases, to see if I have money, think about whether it is a need or a desire. It would have been a useful tool 15 years ago.
2-----You have to stay active. I was in track, cross country and basketball in high school, but once I started college, running and basketball began to slowly disappear. Not right away - I was playing pickup basketball years after high school. But even that is gone, until I became sedentary. Playing with my children outside winded me. And I started to gain weight. I reversed this trend, and I am very active, but I'm still burning the fat I gained during these inactive years.
3----How to plan finances. I always knew I had the budget and track my expenses when I became an adult. I was just too lazy to do. And I did not have a good idea of how to actually do it. Now I have learned how to plan and how to stick to that plan. Of course, I depart from my plan, but I learned how to handle that too. Maybe it's not a skill you can learn from reading the book. You just need practice. Well, I hope to teach my children before they go out on their own.
3----Junk food will come back to bite you in the ass. Yeah, it was not only the sedentary lifestyle that has me fat. It was too damn much junk food. I want to eat pizza and burgers and Twinkies and sugar cereals and desserts and donuts and ... well, you get the picture. As someone used to be able to eat what I wanted, it never seemed that this would be a problem. Poor health had something to worry about when you have old. Well, my jeans started to become too tight, and to my horror, I got several pants sizes and developed a gut that it is only now we're going away. I wish someone had shown me a picture "after" when I was young and downing the Big Gulp sodas.
4------Smoking is just stupid. I did not start smoking until I was well into my adult years. I will not go into why I started, but that does not seem to be a problem, because I knew I could stop whenever I wanted. Or I thought I could at least that many years later, I gave it a go and I could not do it. Five failed later left and I realized with horror that my addiction was stronger than me. Of course, I finally broke the habit (quit date: November 18, 2005), but it took to make a piece of my soul.
5-----Fund your retirement, my son. And do not remove it. This piece of wisdom, and probably all those above, may seem blisteringly obvious. And they are. Do not think I did not know this when I was 18. I did. I did not pay attention, it serious. Retirement was something I could not worry about when I was in my 30s. Well, I'm in my 30s now and I wish I could hit that 18 Leo a little bit. What money I could have invested in the future! I have a retirement plan, but the 3 times I changed jobs, I retired and passed lightly.
6-----All the stuff you do that seems difficult - it will be used. This is the first that might not be as obvious. There are times in my life where the work was hard, and I did it anyway, but hated. I did it because I had to, but the boy did it stress me and leave me exhausted. Hard work is not as easy as I wanted it to be. But you know what? Each bit of hard work I did not know why I did that ... it paid off for me in the long run. Maybe not right away, but I am using the skills and habits that I learned during these periods of high stress and long hours of tedious work - I use them all the time, and they did me the person I am today. Thank you, young Leo!
7------Do not buy this truck used without removing it closely. I thought being smart by buying used, but I did not check carefully enough kick. This is Dang Van had many engine problems, a door almost fell when I was driving, a door handle that broke a mirror that fell, no spare wheel, despite three tires that were ready to jump (and does), windows that roll up, slamming a possible blown radiator ... I could go on and on, but let's just say it was not my best purchase. I still think buying used is smart, but check first things closely.
8-----This guy you sell your car? On a gentleman's agreement? He will not pay you. I sold a car to a friend of a friend, who I was sure she pay me even if I did not write anything. That was clever. I still see the guy from time to time on the road, but I do not have the energy to turn around and run after him.
9-----Take time to pursue your passion, no matter how busy you are. I always wanted to be a writer, and get a book published. I never had time to write. With a family and school and work full time, it was simply not enough hours in the day. Well, I learned that you have to do these hours. Set aside a block of time to do what you like, cut other things in your life that you take your time, and do not let anything interfere with this work. If I did 15 years ago, I could have 15 books written by the company. Not everything would be great, but still.
All these things that stress you - it will not matter in five years, let alone 15. When things are going for you now, they mean everyone. I had deadlines and projects and people breathing down my neck and my stress level went through the roof. I do not regret the work (see above), but I think I would have been less stressed if I could realize that it would not matter one bit a few years down the road. Perspective is a good thing to learn.
People make friends with are so much more important than your work or things you buy. I had a few jobs, I bought a lot of things, and I made some friends over the last 15 years. Among them, the only thing that matters to me are friends. And I wish I could have spent more time with his friends (and family) than on other things.
All that time spent watching television is a huge, huge waste of time. I do not know how I watched TV over the years, but this is a crapload. Hours and days and weeks I will never return. Who cares what happens in reality, when reality is slipping from the outside? Time is something you'll never go back - do not lose the remote.
Your children will grow much faster than you think. Do not waste a minute. I just had an Oh My God moment recently. My oldest daughter, Chloe, is 14 going on 15 next month. I have three years left with her before she left my house and becomes an adult. Three years! I am appalled by this fact alone, because it does not really seem anywhere near enough time. I want to return to my little car and hit the young Leo on the head and say stop working so hard! Stop watching TV! Spend more time with your children! Over the past 15 years, with Chloe (and my other wonderful children) spent far, far too quickly.
Forget the drama. Focus on being happy. There were many things that happened to me professionally and personally, that seem like the end of the world. And while these things were bad, they jump into our heads so that they become major drama. They made me to be depressed from time to time. What a waste of time. When I realized it was all in my head, and I could be happy instead if I focused on the positive, on what I have done, and what I could do ... I could skip all the moping about.
Pay more attention to blogs when you first hear about them. They are more than newspapers. I first read about blogs 7-8 years ago, but when I had a look at them, they do not like something interesting. Just logs some people about things they read on the web. Why would I read them? I have my own ideas on the web, but I did not need to share with the world. I spent a lot of time on the Internet on various sites and forums, but every time I came across a blog, I graze without interest. It was not until a few years ago I discovered that the wonderful things they could be (I mentioned some of my early favorites in my list of influences). If I had had in blogging years ago ... Well, I would not have wasted all this time.
Speaking of which, keep a journal. Seriously. Your memory is faulty. I forget things very easily. No difference in the short term but long term. I do not remember much about the early years of my children because I did not record it all. I do not remember much about my life. It's like a lot of foggy memories that I will never have access. I wish I had kept a diary.
Tequila is seriously wrong. I will not go into details, but it should suffice to say that I had some bad experiences, and I'm not sure I learned much from them or benefited in any way with the exception of learn that tequila is the drink of the devil.
Yes, you can do a marathon. Do not put off this goal - it is extremely rewarding. Running a marathon has always been a dream for me since high school ... something I wanted to do but I thought it was out of reach. Or if I ever did, it would take years and years later. Well, I learned that it is not only possible, it is incredibly rewarding. I wish I had started training when I was young and thin and fit ... I have had some good times finished!
All these mistakes that you make, despite this advice? They are worth it. My 18-year-old self would probably read this post and said, "Good Advice" And then he could make the same mistakes, despite the good intentions I was a good boy, but I was not good at!. follow the advice. I had to make my own mistakes and live my own life. And that's what I did, and I do not regret a minute. Every experience I've had (even tequila ) led me on the path of life where I am today. I like where I am today, and I would not trade it for another life for everyone. Pain, stress, drama, hard work, mistakes, depression, hangover, debt, fat ... it was worth it.
"Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry." - Mark Twain
previous page
.jpg)
Chinese
French
German
Italian
Japanese
Korean
Russian
Spanish